One of you stupids said to yourself, you said “Stupid me, I wonder what the wise and brilliant Boogie thinks of Valentine’s Day?”

You have come to the right place for the answer to that question and you are smart (but still a stupid) for thinking of coming to the wise and wondrous Boogie.

Let me pose to you a question: today, are you saying to yourselfs, “I wonder if Boogie hets me today?”? Because if you are saying that to yourselfs, then you are even more deep in the pit of stupid than I could ever have expected. Because the Boogie hets you EVERY day. The Boogie hets you and you and YOU with that stupid smile on your face, every single moment of every single day.

(Sometimes you give me things and for a brief moment I doesn’t het you, but then I remember my mission and I het you again. The Boogie will not be responsible for throwing the earth off-balance by not maintaining the proper levels of hetred at all times.)

So knowing that the Boogie always hets you every moment of every day, is it necessary to have a special day where you says to yourselfs “If he really hets me, he will (whatever)!”?

No, such a special day is not called for. You can rest assured that the Boogie hets you now, tomorrow, and a week from Friday. The Boogie is always busy pumping his hetred out into the atmosphere. If you stop and think to yourself “Does Boogie het me?”, the answer will always be “Yes, the Boogie hets you with every fiber of his being.”

In like manner, if your boyfriend or girlfriend or mother or second cousin twice removed loves you, he/ she/ they loves you and they don’t need to be throwing away stupid money on stupid flowers and candies and special meals out to show you that they loves you. They loves you or they don’t loves you and if you’re a stupid needy stupid who needs stupid useless things to clutter up your stupid lives, then there is no hope for you stupid stupids.

“Oh!” you stupids says to yourselves, “The man on the commercial tells me that if I buy my beloved this box of chocolates, they will know that I loves them and I won’t have to show them again until next February! Bargain!”

Stupid stupids, you make me despair. Don’t throw your moneys away on stupid STUFF, throw your money away on buying things for the Boogie.

DUH.

I shows my mother every day that I loves her (while also hetting her, duh) by going outside, rolling in the leaves and dirt, and then tracking it back inside. She shows me that she loves me by not killing me.

I CALLS THAT WIN-WIN.

Later, stupids.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 17th, 2009 at 1:52 pm and is filed under what i hate. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.